Embracing the Minivan
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
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Dear Me five-years-ago,
Hey--how's it going? Wait--don't answer that, I already know. It's awesome being home with a brand new baby, isn't it? Yes, of course each and every day of motherhood will be JUST like today. Each day will begin with you smiling and practically skipping around the neighborhood with our precious little bundle looking for new and exciting ways to pass the time while he just bats his eyes and smiles lovingly back at you. Promise.
Anyway, listen, while there are a million mind blowing things I could fill you in on, right now I just wanted to ask you a favor. Do you think you could tone it down a little about the minivan people? You know, try and not roll your eyes and shake your head and make that little snorting sound when you pull up to the grocery store and find that the parking lot is practically a minivan showroom? And while it will continue to get laughs for years to come, maybe you could scale back on telling people that when you and John got together, you said you'd take the three kids, but you would NEVER get a minivan?
Because--and I know you are going to find this hard to believe-- but we are mere moments away from becoming the proud owners of a brand new minivan! No, we haven't moved to the midwest or anything. I just really want the minvan. In fact, I'm hoping we can trade in our sporty Acura MDX early to get it. Whew--deep breath. Still with me? Okay.
No--don't give John the death stare. It was my idea. For years, we dealt with all the climbing, the packing, the shoving, the squashing and the whining. The physical boosting of carpool kids and their various accessories over the backseat into the third row and then hurdling strollers and booster seats to seat belt them in; the packing of our kids, holiday gifts, and requisite h'ors d'oeuvres into the car with perfect precision. Until one day, while trying to physically squeeze Dad into the space between the two carseats in the back of the SUV (yep, two carseats. Surprise!) I said to myself, " You know what's less cool than a minivan? This. Trying to squeeze dad into a narrow little space in his big puffy coat and then trying to strap a seatbelt across him is actually less cool than a driving a minivan." And now here I am, hoping we can turn in the SUV early so we can take the minivan on a road trip this summer. Did you know that all the windows in a minvan can open for ventilation but that all the window controls are up front? Brilliant!
Listen, I know this is all a bit much. The one we want, the Toyota Sienna, is actually pretty luxe inside, but you're probably feeling somewhat betrayed right now and may not be inclined to believe me. (It is fully loaded, if that helps.) Anyway, if you could just try and avoid giving the minivan people that incredulous look from now on, that would be great.
Rest assured, however--the mom-jeans people are still fair game.
Thanks and best regards,
Me
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That was hilarious! Rest assured, I will never become one of those mini-van people! (unless we are on vacation....loved our mini-van at disney!)
Thanks Rob-good job! Have you ever heard "Car Talk" on NPR (I too can be snooty)? On Saturday's show Tom and Ray said that it is a beautiful thing to be in love with your car-It makes the everyday errands like running out for milk much less dreary. I guess that even applies to a minivan. I for one plan on trading in my practical Subaru as soon as I can for something more fun...
oh yes - embrace the mini van
Love that we have this in common - a struggle to make the "cool" SUV work (have seatbelted my father in between the two car seats many times) and now embracing, no, LOVING the minivan. I can't wait for you to join the club! Respect the van. Thanks for sharing your wisdom and wit with all of us!
you're making me nervous. am i going to want a minivan in 4 years? no one told me about this when i got pregnant...
Do not do it......there will be people laughing as you look in your rear view mirror. It probably won't just be the rear-view either!!! xoxo